So I’ve been doing fire watches and various works around the ship now… I’ve had a lot of time to day dream about the future. It’s amazing, because when you day dream, you can be anyone. But it seems all alternate realities seem dull and childish compared to the one God has set out for me.

I’ve updated my blog like what… 8 months ago or something? Well. Just for the heck, here’s a post.. I’ll put something more interesting when I have the time to actually sit down… I’m sitting now in my attic room/studio in Bobbio Pellice, Italy. I’m watching the alps colour up for spring and my breath is stolen every day by the scenery bleeding through my one window. I’ve been on the ship Logos Hope for about 1 and a half years, sharing a tiny cabin with three other amazing people. The solitude I’ve found here is… What I’ve needed…

I’m trying to create an album, another one, with a better strategy for marketing this time. But I’m not sure. I just like creating. That’s all. Well.. we’ll see..

Cheers! Off to the woods..

Me…

My mother had once told me to acquire a proper skill - something to have as a means of survival in this world. Thus far, I can make a pretty good paper bird.

Bird one:

 

I started with Indie rock blasting in my ears, walking with my head bent over a piece of white paper. I was, as Dave Matthews so eloquently sang, lying in the hands of God, as I strolled down the dusty streets of India. Whether by luck, natural inclination or the Holy Spirit Himself, I found the set of my first story was to be in the armenian church of St. George.

Bare-foot and awkward, I sat in the third pew from the front to finish my paper bird. Then, God spoke

“Are you humble enough?”

“Of course I am.”

“That wasn’t very humble.”

“I’ll prove it to you.”

“How?”

“You decide.”

“Get on your knees and lift your hands.”

So I did. I hated it. It was embarrassing and felt stupid - everything I loathed doing in my religion. Fine… I was arrogant. Then God said,

“Want to see a miracle?”

“Of course.”

“That paper bird.”

“Yea?”

“Turn around and give it to the first person you see and tell him I love him.”

“Crap.”

The guy didn’t even speak my language. After several awkward misunderstandings, he finally accepted the bird and I managed to pluck up enough courage to whisper a quick ‘Jesus loves you’ into his ear.

As I walked away, I said,

“That wasn’t a miracle.”

“Sure it was. I actually got you to do all that.”

~o~

Bird two:

 

As I left the church, I tore another square of paper and began moulding it into another featherless fowl. Once again, I was too preoccupied with my fingers and the indie rock blasting in my ears to see where I was headed. But about three folds into the paper, I founds myself standing outside the gate of a classic house with a red tiled roof. It was beautiful. Then, God spoke,

“Go in.”

“It’s someone’s house!”

“So?”

“What if it’s a Hill-Billie with a shot gun and a banjo?”

“You’re afraid of banjos?”

“No”

So I entered and stood in the courtyard, awkward and mildly terrified. As I continued folding the bird, and elderly woman in a blue sari came to the door.

“Yes? Looking for someone?”

“You speak english?”

“A little.”

“Your house is beautiful.”

“It’s very old.”

“I like old things.”

“Where are you from?”

“Singapore. But I’m now sailing with a ship.”

“Huh…”

“I want to give you something.”

“No. I don’t want anything. Goodbye.”

I was alone again - wondering why someone in a poor country wouldn’t accept a free gift. Then God said,

“She’s like you.”

“Stupid?”

“… and arrogant.”

“That wasn’t a miracle.”

“Not all miracles you will see.”

So my second bird sat at the old woman’s porch with a silent prayer. I whispered out loud though no one heard - ‘Jesus loves you.’

~o~

Bird three:

 

A little way down the road, I had the last square of paper shaping in my fingers. I knew I had to go in but I was afraid. God loved the weary man in the church and the foolish old woman in the beautiful house. Where was God’s place in a whole-sale store?

“Go in but only give the bird at the very end.”

So I went in with my unfinished bird to be met by an eloquent lady who was in the business of dealing with antiques. Inside, I saw crosses - catholic and protestant, buddhist statues and hindu gods. My conversation with the lady was long and intriguing. Here is the gist of it.

“You have a beautiful shop. Did you inherit it?”

“No. We rent, and I deal with people from all over India.”

“Impressive. I like antiques and old architecture.”

“Then you should visit Jew street in Fort Kochi.”

“I’ve been there. Too touristy.”

“Ah I see… Where are you from?”

“Singapore. But I’m now sailing with a ship that sells books.”

“I know it! Out of curiosity, what kind of ship is it?”

“It’s a… christian ship.”

“Hmmm… Christianity. It’s a good religion. We have many christians in south India after we were colonized.”

“I’m sorry my religion had to spread in such an intrusive way. Are you christian?”

“I’m hindu. No, it’s ok. At least you have good values. Christians naturally want to evangelize.”

“Well, I’m personally not too proud of that. It’s great to see people come to Christ, but I believe it should be by divine appointment and not human agenda.”

At that point, I wondered how I was to carry on. I would have contradicted myself by telling her that Jesus loved her. Although I came into the store not by human agenda, but by divine appointment, and although every fibre in my body screamed against it, I found myself there to evangelize. She let me look around the store, which I appreciated for it gave me time to think. Then God said,

“Time to leave.”

So I walked back to the desk where she sat to say goodbye. She said,

“how old are you boy? I can never tell with the chinese.”

“Don’t worry. Neither can we. I’m twenty two.”

“hmmm. About my son’s age. Strange. What brought you here?”

“I like old things.”

“Strange. I was very discouraged because I thought none of the younger generation liked old things. My son just wants brand new things. I’m very happy to have met you. What is your name?”

“Daniel. I’m very happy to have met you too. There is beauty in new things as well as old… Anyway, before I leave, I have something for you.”

And so, the last bird sat on the accounting books of the woman who dealt with old things. Silently I said, ‘Jesus loves you.’

As I left, God said,

“Well done.”

“Well done? I couldn’t even tell her about you out of fear and arrogance. The last bird stood for nothing.”

“No. Like the first two birds, the last now stands for you. And you stood for me. not by the words you said, but by simple obedience.”

~o~

As I left the antique shop, I realized I did not quite know my way back. Furthermore, I did not have anymore paper to keep my mind off the noise and worry surrounding my understandably confused mind. As i put one foot in front of the other by faith, God said,

“Look at the weary man in the church as the people in this world who are placed to mould and test you, pushing you out of your comfort zone. Don’t be discouraged. Step out.”

“Was he saved?”

“His story is My concern, not yours. Then, look at the old lady in the house as the people in the world who don’t accept the gift you bring. Even though it’s delivered right to their door. Do not be discouraged, deliver to them anyway.”

“Was she saved?”

“Her story is My concern, not yours. Finally, look at the eloquent lady as the people in this world who know about me but do not believe even though I had touched their hearts. Don’t be discouraged, touch anyway.”

“Was she saved?”

“… You really are stupid.”

~o~

Then God encouraged me in this way to stop making birds and start making songs to reach the people. Hence, I made this album.

The End

So I’m now in a souk somewhere in Qatar and we’ll be headed back to Dubai before having a nice long sail to Sri Lanka… 

So far, I’ve found God taking me through a relatively interesting journey.. I use ‘interesting’ because it goes against what I’ve perceived all my life as a journey with God… I must admit I’ve always had a rather pessimistic and detrimental view on the subject, but my recent experiences have proven that walking with Him does not mean that life will be hard, or harder in comparison to what life would be not. Instead, it’s a life full of peace and satisfaction.

It’s not fun or free in the sense the world seems to put it. the definition of freedom is not the void of obstacle, rules or boundaries as darkness is the void of light or silence the void of sound. Freedom’s the presence of something.. I’d like to say God.. but i haven’t had a revelation further than this yet.. :) all i know is.. Life’s beautiful and you’d be a damn fool even with all the degrees in the world not to live it right.. I’ve found it’s all about the search…